This is Rocky:
Simply put, the bird is a fuck.
He hates my guts and tries to bite me when I get anywhere within five feet of him. He's never gotten close, but his effort is enough to fear. If it wasn't for the "Rocky Run" he'd be an absolute asshole, but watching him run at me with his small feet and funny wings all pissed off it pretty funny. Its slow and stupid looking enough to love, but his sharp beak keeps me scared and very afraid. He eats food off Gloria's tongue, which aside from being across the board disgusting really amazes me. He's supposed to love boys, but his love for me is none. No one has any idea why, but I stay away.
Now that we've found our place, we've been able to plan for it. The restaurant is going to give us lots of things. Tons of cookware, bar stools, food, spices, everything. Gloria's mom is giving us a futon (so you all can have a place to stay at. Its all for you you know), and the rest we'll get from home or Portland. I'm waiting for something to go wrong because everything seems too perfect.
Pros:
- Right in downtown Portland
- Within a mile of the best music venue in Portland and a Trader Joe's
- The price is under $900 a month (under our budget of $1100)
- Every single Portlander says that our place is in an amazing neighborhood and that it is a good price
- The shower is like a locker room shower. It has the small tiles and you just walk into it. There's no bath, but I hate baths anyway.
- The kitchen is big
- Its a Victorian house
Cons:
- Maybe I'll get addicted to heroin?
- You assholes don't live here
- TBA
Once we get there I'll give you the full analysis, but it seems perfect.
That venue, the Crystal Ballroom is owned some brothers called the McMenamins. They restore old buildings suck as Insane Asylums and Crematoriums, to name two, into Brewpubs and Hotels. Tell me that isn't amazing? Anyway, I'm too excited about our new residence and soon you'll all know. I'll be recruiting each of you personally to move out here.
1 comment:
McMenemians is in Seattle too... They have fucking INSANE tater tots. I mean- in the true, Napolean Dynomite sense of, "dude give me your tots." They are that good. The Cajun ones are amazing too, but I cannot abide both the gossamer blowtee, and 1 dollar for essentially someone pouring glorified Johnny's Salt on my tots...
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